He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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