he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
