I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
