You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
