Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
