Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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