he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
