thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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