I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
