ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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