you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize