Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
