so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
