I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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