Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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