She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
