franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
