operation harelip BJ is a go
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
