You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
