Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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