There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
