you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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