Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
