someone get that fucking seahorse.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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