There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
