I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
