I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
