I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
tell me about the fingering
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
