Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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