I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
