Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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