just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize