I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize