if you like me you must not know who I am
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
