There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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