At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
