Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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