"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
