I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
