Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
