don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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