I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
