I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
