I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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