Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
