i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
