Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
that is very illegal...i love you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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