I am in a vortex of obligation.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you win again, gameday.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I believe in your delicious
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
