Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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