i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
