I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
