Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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