I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
