Only a mothe r could love this liver
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize