he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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