Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
