He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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