There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
