I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You dont lie about slip and slides
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
