apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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