We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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