Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
