after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
