I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
