and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
