just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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