Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
false alarm, still single
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
