Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
