i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
