I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
