Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
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I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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