Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
