how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
